Extroverts Add Spice to Life (and Mom Heart Groups!)

Are you an outgoing person?  Are your group members?  Having extroverts in your Mom Heart group is a blessing and a challenge.  Recently, we talked about how to draw out introverts and make your group a safe place for them.  Today, let's talk about those talkative, brave, enthusiastic extroverts.Extroverts are the life of the party and bring a level of energy and excitement to any group.  These outgoing-types can also take over a group conversation or bully another woman without even realizing it.  Here are some ideas that you may want to try in your Mom Heart group.Meet with her and ask her to help you.  Extroverts often like to be in the middle of things and to contribute.  Here are some ideas.  Ask her to be the one who often opens or closes the group in prayer.  Have her greet women as they come in.  Since making new women feel welcome is so important, have her sit next to a newcomer and be available to answer questions throughout the meeting.  If an outgoing person has a job that is helpful, she will know that she is contributing in a valuable way and not be as likely to dominate during discussion.  She will feel heard and  everyone will have a chance to contribute.Be brave to steer the conversation.  Sometimes, the leader has to step in and be the leader.  Occasionally, this means you'll need to bring the conversation back to the text or scripture.  Be gentle, but firm.  If there is someone that monopolizes the discussion every week, consider meeting with her one-on-one to hear her needs so you can offer her the support she desires.  If it continues, graciously ask her to save that sharing for after the meeting when there is more time for fellowship.  Get creative- extroverts that are lonely or needy may just need to feel loved.canstockphoto13005842Provide opportunities for connection outside of the meeting time.  Extroverts need to be around others much more often than introverts.  In our group, we have spontaneously play dates at area parks.  We also have a field trip coordinator who arranges field trips for our group once or twice a month.  Since we are homeschoolers, this includes our children, but it doesn't have to.  Ask if there is anyone willing to arrange a "Moms Night Out" once a month, or a Saturday gathering for families.  This is where real connection will happen and the group members will start to form relationships with each other.  As a leader, there is pressure to be available for every individual, but that is impossible.  If you provide social events, the women will begin to connect and the extroverts will get their buckets filled!Are you an extrovert?  How else could group leaders support the needs that you have?

Planning - Mom Heart LEADer Tip #4

Mom Heart groups are modeled after the small groups seen in the early church in Acts— Christians gathering to share their lives and to hear from and respond to God. Mom Heart groups meet to encourage, equip, and enable moms to start, lead, and tend small groups of mothers. That is our mission. As part of the equipping aspect of our mission, we have created an uncomplicated, effective teaching model that you can use for leading your small group meeting time. It is designed both to cultivate the organic nature of your group meeting, and to regulate its organizational structure. The HEART small group lesson model provides both flexibility and orderliness in a simple and memorable meeting template.The HEART outline is modeled after an inductive study—we want each Mom Heart group to start with the Word to discover what God has to say through it to them. (Inductive Bible study starts with a passage and studies the Scripture to learn what it has to say, like a historian studying source material to explain an event. ) It is a model that begins with “Hear the Spirit” because it is about listening for God’s voice, and ends with “Take It to Heart” because the purpose of Scripture is to change the life of the hearer. The goal of the HEART model is to insure that your group does not miss the “heart” of their time studying the Word together.canstockphoto12805479We believe that the HEART Bible study model is a unique teaching design that can help you create a rich and meaningful small group experience. You’re free to use other models in creating your own lesson plan, but we encourage all of our Mom Heart group leaders to use the HEART model. Remember, you don't need to explicitly state to your group that are you moving through these steps; you can just allow one time to move naturally into the next. Below are the five priorities of a HEART-shaped Mom Heart group meeting.

                                          • H — Hear the Spirit (Invitation)

                                          • E — Engage the Word (Observation)

                                          • A — Affirm the Truth (Interpretation)

                                          • R — Respond to God (Application)

                                          • T — Take It to Heart (Supplication)

Let's briefly go over what each portion of the HEART model means.H- Hear the Spirit (Invitation).  The purpose of this time is introduce the topic of the day’s lesson with a nonthreatening discussion that generates interest, involvement, and interaction among group members, and sets the spirit for the lesson.  Ask a general question, read a quote, or show a movie clip.E- Engage the Word (Observation).  The “Engage the Word” part of your lesson is the focus of a Mom Heart group study. If you are doing a book study using one of Sally’s books, or another author’s, you can spend some time talking about the content of the chapter you read for the week. You also should have identified several specific Scripture passages from the chapter that can then become the Bible study portion of your time.A- Affirm the Truth (Interpretation).  In the “Affirm the Truth” part of your meeting time, you are helping your group extract the true meaning (God’s intent) from the scriptures they have observed and discussed. It is part of the process that will move biblical truth from the head (intellectual) into the heart (personal). Interpretation is determining just what a passage means—what does God want you to know, to be, to do, or to believe about His truth. As you begin to answer any or all of those questions, you will be interpreting the author’s content and intent.  One way to do that is to write a “Big Idea” sentence together.  Have your group come up with one sentence explaining the main idea of the passage or chapter.R- Respond to God (Application). The “Respond to God” part of your meeting time is designed to provide a moment of quiet reflection in response to the Bible study and discussion. Encourage the group to consider quietly how the lesson impacts each of their lives personally. Remind them that there is no one way to respond, but that the Spirit of God can speak individually to each of them through the passages. Encourage each mom to write down her personal application. This step is important because it allows the group members time to individually synthesize the head, heart, and hands truths that they have been discussing.T- Take It to Heart (Supplication). The “Take It to Heart” conclusion of your meeting time is for the purpose of responding to God in prayer as a group. Though often overlooked, prayer is the first and most important application you can make about any study of the Word—to talk with God about what He is saying to you. We sometimes trivialize the idea of application by trying to create artificial tasks or actions that we think will please God, meet His standards, or gain His approval. But God is not primarily concerned with these often superficial “sacrifices” of obedience. The offering He really desires from us is a “contrite heart” (Psalm 51:16-17). This step of supplication is simply opening our hearts to God—taking our needs, desires, failures, and hurts to Him and humbly asking Him to respond. This final part of your meeting is a time to pray to God as a group for one another, and for your group. It is a time to speak to God about what God has spoken to you.As a leader, the HEART model will give direction during your planning time.Have you tried the HEART model yet?  How did it work for you as a leader?  Excerpt from Taking Motherhood to Hearts.

Deb's Group in St. Louis

 Deb Giles is a faithful Mom Heart friend and volunteer.  She has been attending conferences as often as possible for years.  I am so excited for you to hear her Mom Heart story!After returning from the first Mom Heart Leader Intensive in August 2010, I was very inspired and wanted to start a Mom Heart group in my area. I met with a sweet friend and we prayed about starting a group. We then began meeting at her home with 5 or 6 ladies each time.Currently, we meet every Thursday evening in my home for dinner and book/bible discussion. Most of the women are homeschool moms and military, either active duty spouses or retired. Their ages run from twenty-five to seventy years young. Of the 22 women on our Facebook page, about half of us meet every week. (We have women from across the U.S. in our group, not just local friends. Our entire group represents 93 children and many grandchildren as well!)Our local group has become very close-knit, helping one another with day-to-day things, encouraging and mentoring one another, whether we are older or younger. We message one another daily via group text. This, I believe has allowed us to form an amazing bond. We are a family, getting together outside of our regular meetings, be it one-on-one, or a quarterly get-together with all the families, taking turns hosting this in our homes. For the majority of us, this group has become our "Thursday Evening Fill-Up." Even though we may be pouring out to others, we are also filled by one another's presence.Over the years, we have had women come to our group and maybe only stay one or two meetings, and we've had some who have been with us off and on throughout our five years. Not everyone has time to complete the book study, but they do come to hang out and just be together nonetheless. We are average, everyday moms who want to get together and praise God for what He has given us, and not focus on the negativity that goes on in our lives. We make it a point to encourage, uplift and be voices of strength for those in our fold that are going through strife. We want each lady who attends our group to feel loved, appreciated and like they can conquer anything life throws at them because we are all standing together, fighting together, loving together and nourishing our souls together.Currently, we are reading through "You are Loved" once again. We've had new women join since we did it last and we thought this was a good study bring them into our fold. In the past, we have gone through many of Sally Clarkson's books as well as a few that were not hers, but good for those who were in our group at the time. I think my favorite book will always be, "Seasons of a Mother's Heart" as it was the first of Sally's books I read.I was able to read an advanced copy of her new book, "The Life Giving Home" and it has quickly become my favorite. I have always wanted a home like Sally describes in this book and she and Sarah are giving insight from how they view home. I like the different styles in writing, the different perspectives and the idea that home is not just about four walls that surround your family. Home is what you, as a mom and as a family, make of your time together. Home can be anywhere you are.deb g small

Attendees of Deb's local Mom Heart Conference

Last fall, our group stepped out with me in faith and we held our first ever, "A Mom's Heart in IL" conference here locally. It was something I had been hearing God tell me to do for several years, but I was scared!  A friend and I brought the loosely planned idea to the group and God took it from there.  In our little corner of the world, we worked hard: advertising, planning, preparing, and celebrating our conference. We had about 40 women in attendance and I invited some of my friends, whom I met through Sally, to be speakers. It was a jammed-packed full day, but what a blessing it was! To know that God used our tiny group of women to reach out and touch lives of others in our area was such an emotional experience. We grew closer as a group. We grew closer to God. We have already begun preparations for a second conference this fall.If you had told me six years ago that I would be leading other women in my home each week and hosting conferences, I probably would've laughed at you. However, I am finding out that God has plans that are not necessarily what I dreamed. Being a leader has its challenges. I worried about whether my house would be clean enough, whether my children and grandchildren would behave, whether I would behave...Through lots of prayer and loads of grace, I trust God to bring those who need the friendships, who need the encouragement, who need Him. I don't worry about whether my house is spotless anymore. There are times the house looks passable, at least in the rooms where we meet, but there are times when there are dishes piled in the sink, the grandkids are being loud, I haven't cooked dinner for my family, let alone the women who are attending. But, again, God's grace and the love of the women in our group make even my less-than-perfect days seem bright and beautiful.And so, for any mom, young wife, or even a teenage girl needing guidance, if you feel lonely, if you seek like-minded fellowship and encouragement, I would say, start a Mom Heart group today if there isn't one close to you. Trust God, step out in faith and let Him do all the work. He will bring women to you that you may not know how to reach. Women who do not feel equipped to mentor will show up and mentor without realizing that's what they're doing. Trust HIM, you won't be disappointed!If you want to pray for our group here in the St Louis Metro area, please pray we continue to let God lead us. That we continue to encourage and uplift others, whether they are in our group or some stranger we meet at the store. Pray for God's light to shine through us and for Him to have all the glory. Pray for our second conference coming this fall. Pray for those attending, for those speaking or helping in any way, and pray for our families too.Deb's Mom Heart group is hosting a Mother-Daughter Tea on April 30, 2016.  Know anyone in the St Louis Metro area?  Please direct them here so that they can attend!  Also, follow their Facebook page , A Mom's Heart in IL for other events such as their Mom Heart conference in October.Does Deb’s story encourage you?  Pray, get brave and love the women around you!

Can You Hear a Pin Drop?

"How did that idea make you feel?"  Silence.  Silence.  Silence.When I ask a discussion question during my Mom Heart group, often the silence is deafening.  I can hear my own heartbeat because everyone holds their breath and sits perfectly still.  My group is made up of mostly introverts.  As a leader, these moments of silence can feel awkward and uncomfortable.  I am tempted to step in and answer my own questions just to break the stillness.  Here are a few ideas for handling a group made up of introverts.Count to ten.   Introverts need a lot of time to think before they speak.  A quiet person often needs quiet in which to gather her thoughts before she speaks them aloud.  Be sure to give her the time that she needs.  The way I handle this is to actually count to ten very slowly in my mind.  It feels like forever and is extremely awkward, but nine times out of ten, one of those shy ones speaks up before I get to ten.Keep your group small.  Introverts can be very nervous saying anything in front of a group.  Ladies that are shy will often open up one-on-one or in small groups.  If you want to keep your group discussing scripture or a book and there are more than 10-12 consistent attendees, start planning ways to multiply.  If you don't, your group will turn into a lecture (by you) or will be completely dominated by the few extroverts in your group.  (Posts with tips on multiplication coming soon.)canstockphoto22415857Connect one-on-one.  Some women will never say a word in a group discussion.  Our Mom Heart group has been gathering for about four years and some of the most faithful attendees never say anything during the meeting.  Even if someone is extremely quiet, that doesn't mean she isn't learning and gathering encouragement or that she doesn't have valuable wisdom to share, it just means that a group discussion is not the place for her to share it.  Try to connect with this woman one-on-one.  Make a special point to talk to her after group is over or schedule a coffee date for just the two of you.If you make a point to create an atmosphere of safety, most introverts will eventually feel comfortable enough to share during a group meeting.  Make it easier for them by allowing silence, keeping your group small and connecting one-on-one.Coming soon: Tips regarding extroverts.See Taking Motherhood to Hearts for more ideas on nurturing different types of women in your Mom Heart group. 

Be Encouraging - Mom Heart LEADer Tip #3

Be Encouraging: Influence Your Group with GodlinessThe Apostle Paul encouraged believers with the truth that had been revealed to him by God, but he also encouraged them with his own example of how that truth is lived out through a godly life (see: 2 Corinthians 4:1-15; 1 Thessalonians 2:10-12). Paul preached and practiced what he believed. Several times in Scripture, Paul holds up his own life to others as an example to follow and emulate. As a follower of Christ and a leader, your goal should be no different— that your life would be an example to others. As the leader of your group, you have the opportunity to encourage your moms to believe God and to be faithful.The biblical idea of encouragement is typically represented by the Greek verb parakaleo . It is a compound of two Greek words— para, alongside; and kaleo, to call. Literally it means to “call alongside,” but can be translated as encourage, exhort, or comfort. The encourager is one who comes alongside another to help as they walk with Christ. Being that kind of encourager is a key part of your role as a Mom Heart group leader—to come alongside each mom in your group and encourage them in their life with Christ. One of the greatest gifts you will give to your group is godly, biblical encouragement.ABM_1457503823You may not feel qualified or gifted enough to think that you could be a godly encourager like Paul, but remember that you have the same Holy Spirit that Paul did. If God calls you to a ministry, He will equip and empower you by His Spirit to do it (see: Philippians 4:12-13; 2 Peter 1:2-11). You can expect spiritual battles tempting you to feel discouraged, inadequate, or afraid, but the Spirit of God will come alongside you to encourage you, to help you find courage through Christ. Paul’s pastoral protégé, Timothy, apparently was timid and lacked courage. In his very last letter, Paul encouraged Timothy with these words: “God did not give you a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7). The same Spirit is at work in your life. Being a godly encourager is not about what you can do, but what the Spirit can do through you.fc1c4d96-6dbf-458f-b20f-bf557e95aa1cExcerpt from Taking Motherhood to Hearts.

Tami's Group in Texas

Today Tami is going to share some of her journey from becoming a new leader to growing into an experienced mentor of Mom Heart women.  Tami is an inspiration because she jumped into ministry to mothers so wholeheartedly.The first Mom Heart conference that I attended was in 2009.  I was searching for encouragement and rest.  Little did I know how God would use that conference to change my life.

“Your children are your ministry.”

“In the absence of biblical conviction, children will go the way of culture.”

 These life-breathing statements from Sally forever changed my perception on motherhood.In 2010, I was blessed to attend Sally’s first Mom Heart Intensive with about 45 other moms. We were taught by gifted speakers about writing, speaking, serving, cooking, praying, and making our home into a place of beauty.  We were loved, encouraged and cherished by Sally and her Mom Heart team. I was given a desire to serve other moms in this same way.  But how?  I did not feel equipped to mentor other mothers.Momheart 2016 010

Some members of Tami's Mom Heart group

Stepping out in faith/answering the call - Isaiah 6:8, “And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” After much prayer, and hearing clearly from the Lord, I started my own Mom Heart group. We have continued to fellowship together for over 5 years, meeting twice per month in a cozy home setting.  We have read nearly all of Sally’s books and are currently discussing “Own Your Life”. The first half hour is dedicated to fellowship, followed by our book discussion and then we spend time praying for each other.  We have other events throughout the year including teas and luncheons that bring moms together for a time of refreshment and encouragement.

tami1

A spring tea especially for mothers

Are you a Titus 2 mom?Titus 2:3 “the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— 4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”God has an amazing way of stretching us, placing us in unfamiliar situations that we are not equipped to handle in our own strength.   This is why it is so beautiful when you step out in faith and follow His will. Because you know that it is all Him and He gets the glory. When you are not equipped, you know it has to be God. Hebrews 13:21 “May he equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to him.  All glory to him forever and ever! Amen.”If God has called you, He will equip you. God is in the small beginnings and the false starts. Often our efforts for God are attacked by the enemy. We can get discouraged so that we don't even want to try again. But God delights in taking the insignificant and making something out of it. Because of our nature, we might often feel we are not equipped. With the power of Jesus in our spirits, we never have to attempt a duty for which we are not strengthened.  Look to Him for direction and do not despise small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.  (from Zechariah 4:10)A few thoughts from Tami’s group members:“Although I love that the book is the catalyst for us getting together, the book is secondary. Being there to listen and pray together is first.  I have learned to ache for the ladies in our group.  ““Our group has been an encouragement and a blessing from the Lord.  I feel God brought this group of very different ladies together with the same heart to serve the Lord and become better moms through Christ.  It is a safe place to share struggles and failures without guilt, to know your prayer requests are being lifted up to the Lord, and a place of community.”“So many times I have come in empty handed, all "poured out" without another drop to give.  So many times, I leave full, encouraged in ways that only God knows.  These like-minded women walk a similar path to my own.  A path that wants to love and honor God, along with being a fully present wife and mother to those God has given us.  They, along with Sally, breathe hope through the words spoken and written.”  May we always trust and believe that when God calls us, He equips us, He provides, and He enables! He makes a way where there seems to be no way. Yes, it will take faith, hard work, diligence and persistence, but with God on our side, we can do anything! We need not rely on our strength alone ~ When God calls, He also equips!Tami's group meets in the Richardson/Plano area and she'd be happy to connect with any mothers in those areas. Her email is: tamicooke515 (at) gmail (dot) com.

Perspective of a New Leader

I am excited to introduce you to Erin, just finishing up her very first year of leading a Mom Heart Group.  I know there are many of you out there being called to start a group and you just can’t seem to find the courage.  Gather some from Erin today!  After being changed by a book, she felt called to pay it forward and live out a Titus 2 ministry.  Here is her story.When my oldest was four, God used Seasons of a Mother’s Heart to shape my marriage, mothering and eventually my homeschooling.   I wanted to offer myself in service to the Lord in any way I could to encourage other women.  I met with Lynn Custer (a Mom Heart Mentor near Raleigh, SC) and told her how I thought God was leading me to start a Mom Heart Group.  She was very encouraging and told me that another mom had recently approached her regarding starting a group close to where I live.  She introduced me to Bobbi, the two of us spoke, and a group was born!  I facilitate and we meet at Bobbi’s house.foots-73310_640Our group has settled in at about six of us.  Sometimes there are only three or four, depending on what is going on in people’s lives.  We meet once a month and are currently reading Seasons of a Mother’s Heart.  In lieu of a chapter of the book, one night we viewed one of Sally’s webinars together.I read the chapter aloud and stop intermittently to share whatever I have learned from past studies, experience and whatever God has placed on my heart during my study time.  As the months have gone by, there is more sharing among the ladies in the group.  Our group is cozy and intimate, a time of respite and relaxation from the stresses and worries of life.This side of Heaven, one of our greatest resources for strength and comfort is each other.  Go to the Lord in prayer; let Him direct your path. Then reach out where He leads.  Join a group.  Take a leap of faith.  To all moms I would say, “Make yourself approachable, welcoming and inclusive.  Let’s be real with one another.  Don’t try to make your life seem something that it is not, because our testimonies are powerful and have restorative power.  Your story is your story for a reason, and that reason is to glorify God!  Maybe He has a whole line of women out there who will be the recipient of your wisdom and encouragement, even though right now you can only see the pain and struggle. We need to reach out to each other in our times of loneliness and need, but we also need to be aware of who is around us and who might need some help.  We need each other.  You were not created to go it alone.  We were made for fellowship.  Look at Mary and Elizabeth in the Bible!“One thing that is a challenge for me in this new role of leadership is resting in the fact that God called me to do this and drawing confidence in that alone.  The enemy will tell me, “Who are you to lead a group; you barely know what you are doing.”  I have to remind myself that I am no one, but He is everything.   I sometimes get insecure about the numbers…why did some women not come back to the group?  Was it something I said?  By pressing on, and giving Him my loaves and fishes, He has been faithful, and I now see that the women who are there are the ones who He knows will glean the most at this time.  Where two or more are gathered, He is present.  I have noticed that as the group became a bit smaller, there was more sharing, especially from those who would otherwise be quiet.  I am also able to be more intentional and personal.  So, perseverance and confidence have been the biggest challenge.  But if I press on, He is faithful.   I am growing stronger, gaining confidence, moving closer in my relationship and reliance on Him.  It’s been a refining process.My greatest blessing is when we are all together and there is sharing among the group.  I have been struck by the wisdom of the ladies and the encouragement they have gotten and given.  Just the fact that we all long to be more like Christ in our mothering and that these ladies care enough to be intentional about the future of their children and families is amazing.  Sally’s words are life giving and redirecting from the social and cultural norms of today.  It is powerful to see things click and to feel God moving!Please pray that God’s will be done throughout the group.  Conviction would happen where needed, encouragement and validation where needed.  That our hearts would be drawn closer to the Lord and that what is stored up would then be poured out on our families.  That as a facilitator, I seek to hear God’s word and message, and that I remain obedient to His calling.Erin's group meets in Apex, North Carolina.  If you're near that area and are looking for fellowship, note that in the comments and Erin will get in touch with you.Erin’s testimony to God’s faithfulness and goodness is a powerful picture of what happens when we obey what He calls us to do.  Are you being called to minister to mothers?  What do you need to take one step forward into that calling? 

Be Hospitable - Mom Heart LEADer Tip #2

foots-73310_640Serve Your Group with EnthusiasmAs a mother with time in the trenches, you have by now learned one important truth by experience: Motherhood is delightful, but it can also be demanding and daunting. The daily piling on of duties, responsibilities, crises, conflicts, and needs can leave even the most capable mom feeling tired, alone, discouraged, and overwhelmed. When moms come to your group meeting, the demands of motherhood can sometimes weigh heavily on them. Carrying that weight can drain the delights of motherhood from their spirits, and that can affect the spirit of your group.When you see a mom with that weight walking in your door, her burden is not something you need to correct. After all, she is coming to the Mom Heart group to be with others who will share in that burden with her. It should not be corrected, but it can be deflected. You have the power to create a space for moms in your group to feel loved, encouraged, and refreshed. How? Simply by creating a home characterized by hospitality.According to Dictionary.com, hospitality is “the quality or disposition of receiving and treating guests and strangers in a warm, friendly, generous way.” The biblical terms suggest the idea of welcoming strangers and others into your fellowship. Hospitality is primarily expressed in the act of welcoming others into your home, but it is more; it is also the intention of creating a welcoming home. We like to suggest two qualities that create a hospitable home: atmosphere and environment.The atmosphere of hospitality is the spiritual air that your guests will breathe in—the tones of joy, enthusiasm, and anticipation; the spirit of grace, gentleness, and love; the sense of God’s life and truth; the priority on people and relationship. The environment of hospitality is the surroundings that your guests will experience—the orderliness and ambiance of a room that makes it inviting, comfortable, and attractive; thoughtful décor that adds life, beauty, color, and texture; inviting, tasteful refreshments that are creative, healthy, and presented nicely; selected music, art, and books that add fullness and meaning.You may be thinking, “I understand about the atmosphere of hospitality, and can do that. But I don’t know about the environment part. We don’t have nice things, and I’m not a good decorator.” But consider this: If atmosphere is the verbal expression of welcome, then environment is the nonverbal. A welcoming home environment says loudly and clearly to your guests that they are important enough to you that you have thoughtfully prepared a place of welcome for them. It does not take much to create a welcoming and hospitable environment that will “speak” to your guest. And when you do, it will also strengthen and enhance the personal atmosphere you create. This is true even if you are meeting in a neutral, non-home facility— whatever you do to improve the environment will also improve the atmosphere. It just takes a little extra time and effort. Perhaps that’s why Paul exhorts Christians, “Practice hospitality” (Romans 12:13 NIV).Excerpt from Taking Motherhood to Hearts.What simple preparations make your home hospitable and welcoming to your Mom Heart group?

Gretchen's Group

Gretchen is a Mom Heart Leader in North Carolina.  She still faithfully leads a group even as she makes herself available to encourage new leaders to take a step forward into God’s calling.  Gretchen is a tireless behind-the-scenes friend and worker for the Mom Heart Ministry.  Let’s hear what she has to say about her group.Our Mom Heart group began after a friend and I prayed throughout the summer. Our group meets once a month in the evening from 8-10 pm.  We share tea and goodies and then read aloud a chapter from one of Sally and Clay’s books, discuss it, and pray together.  Reading aloud the chapter together has led to great discussion since the content is fresh on everyone’s mind.  It has also been a great reminder as moms for how wonderful it is for someone to read aloud to you, which is a gift we can give our children every day.gretchen1

Gretchen's Group:  Three of these moms are now pregnant!

Our group created Mom Heart cards for moms to give to other moms they meet at the park, church, or sports activities to invite them to our gatherings.  Our heart is to truly give moms a refreshing time where they can come as they are, be encouraged, prayed for, listened to, and fed physically and spiritually.  God meets us there as we pray, read and seek to learn how to love our families.What has been wonderful to witness is how God brings the moms who need to be there.  We just need to be sensitive to His Spirit and calling when meeting moms and opening the invitation to them.  God continues to amaze me each month with the new moms He brings who really need the truth and freedom found in His word that Sally so beautifully articulates in her books.  Also the relationships formed have flourished and deepened as we have weathered divorce, cancer, adoption disappointments, and the death of one of our precious moms from metastatic breast cancer.  Our group is truly a community together.Gretchen is a leader because she loves to serve mothers.  Her goal is that they have a safe place to belong and find encouragement.  With her eyes on God and off herself, Gretchen has strengthened many weary mothers over the years. 

Starting Your Mom Heart Group - LEADer Tip #1

George_Hardy_The_evening_hour_1877

The Evening Hour by George Hardy, 1877

How will you create community for women currently alone in their homes?The hardest part of doing anything worth doing is the starting. Taking that first step takes a lot of effort and energy. In physics, that idea is expressed as inertia—the tendency of a physical object to resist acceleration. In other words, left on their own, things tend to stay as they are. Unless something moves them, they don’t move.It’s easy to see how this principle from physical life illustrates a similar reality in our spiritual life. We can experience spiritual inertia. If we are resistant to change—if fear, lack of confidence, insecurity, or any number of conflicting feelings keep us from moving forward—we will resist taking a first step of faith. We need some outside force to move us so we’ll get moving.But God is inertia-adverse. If you are reasonably mature, ready and willing to lead a group, but resisting the idea, you need to know that God is ready to help you move. He is ready to encourage and strengthen you to take that step of faith.To start something new, you must overcome spiritual inertia. Something has to move you to get moving. You’ve probably heard it many times before, but it is true: God can’t steer a parked car. If you are hesitating to take that first step of faith, know first of all that God is ready to step into your life to help. He knows you, believes in you, and wants you to lead this group, so you can trust Him to help. He won’t step in until you step out in faith, but when you decide to shift out of Park and put your life in Forward, He will begin to steer. His Spirit will begin to direct you forward.And just a reminder: The size of your group does not matter to God. He is looking for faithfulness. Every mom in your group will be special to God, whether there are two, twenty, or two hundred. Whether they are there for fellowship, for encouragement, or to learn for the first time what God says about mothering, they will be there because God wants them to be there. And you will be there because He wants you to be there for them, leading those women in seeking after God’s heart as mothers.Excerpt from Taking Motherhood to Hearts by Sally and Clay Clarkson.

Ideas for Finding Community

Don’t these women look like they are enjoying their tea break from work in a munitions factory (1944)?  This is what community can look like.But, finding community is no easy task.  It requires both prayer and practice.“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.”  Hebrews 10:23-25In Hebrews 10, God shows us how to hold fast to our hope and stir up love and good works.  God's word says this happens through assembling together.  We need to be in fellowship with those who love God.  So, how do we find others with whom to assemble?

  1. Pray.  The Lord has a friend out there for you.  A real life, local, kindred friend.  It may take time to find her and she might not seem like the perfect friend at first.  Continue to pray and let God show you what He has in store for each new friendship as it comes.  Some will stick; some won't.  But, I promise that God did not design you to walk this life of faith, mothering, marriage, and work alone.  We are designed to live in community.file561270689520
  2. Practice asking.  Five years ago, I moved from the city where I was born, raised, educated, married and gave birth to my two children, to a new state where I knew no one.  Not a single person.  I left a thriving Mom Heart group made up of college and church friends I'd known for years.  That group was easy to start because I had many friends who were also new mothers.  Fast forward to my new life.  There was no one with whom to begin friendship or to read a book.  So, I got brave.  (Actually, I was always shaking in my boots, but I knew that I had to initiate or I'd be lonely for years.)  When I went to the park, I was outgoing, asking mothers if they'd be interested in reading a book on motherhood together.  I gave out my email address.  When buying curriculum, I would ask the seller if she wanted to join a book club.  I even searched on Facebook for various parenting groups in my area and posted there about starting a group, asking if anyone would like to join me.  It was terrifying and there was a lot of rejection.  But I was convinced that I needed friends.  After several weeks, one person said,  "Yes!" and that's all I needed to start a "group."  The two of us could read a book together and become friends.  And we did- what a blessing that Sara said yes that day!  So practice, practice, practice while you pray and God will bring people into your life.sara

       Sara and Me - my first friend who said, "Yes!"

Here are some ideas of places to find mothers to invite to your group:  your children's classes (gymnastics, sports, school), the grocery store line (yep-  met people here too!), friends of friends (ask your friends to step out and invite women to join your group), social media, coffee shops, airplanes (yep- here too!).   Invite them to come once and see if the group is a good fit for them, then they don't feel locked into a commitment right at first.Here's one final idea that often works.  I buy extra copies of Sally's books whenever I can.  Then, when I meet a new friend and potential group member, I give her a copy as a gift and explain how much that book helped me in my mothering.  It's fun to watch different reactions to being given a gift and for some, that's the act of kindness that draws them to you and helps them step out and attend.Remember, every woman you invite is just as frightened to walk in the door as you were to invite her in the first place.  (Maybe even more so.)  Treat people with respect and gentle kindness and they will be drawn to the Lord through you.For current leaders, how did you find women to attend your group?

Profile of a Texas Mom Heart Group

Ginger's group began about four years ago when she invited a friend to attend the Mom Heart Conference with her.  After the conference, they met with the Women's Ministry Director in their church to ask if it'd be appropriate to invite women from the church to attend their new Mom Heart Group.  They were able to hand out fliers and run a bulletin announcement to invite the mothers in their church.  With a yearly newsletter, they encourage the members to invite other mothers within their spheres of influence.Ginger's group meets twice per month with 10-15 ladies attending each time.  They have studied Mission of Motherhood, Ministry of Motherhood and are currently reading Desperate.  Next up is the Lifegiving Home.  The group is made up of women in all ages and stages from grandmothers down to newly pregnant ladies.One unique aspect of Ginger's group is that they schedule many fellowship activities outside of their regular group meetings.  They have attended the Mom Heart Conference together, canned, gone on a vegetable garden field trip, crocheted, had a movie night, did freezer meal assembly, dinner out, had a painting party, and created recipe books.  What amazing ways to build community and close knit friendships!ginger

Ginger's group at their painting party

I asked Ginger what she would say to a lonely mother.  "I would tell lonely moms to take a risk, and invite a mom to coffee or just get herself to a group. You never know where that will lead--one mother asked me to meet with her, and now she's mentoring 2 other moms!"  What a lovely testimony to the power of reaching out to those around us.Ginger highly recommends forming a leadership team to support you, to establish their own relationships with the women, and to step in when life circumstances interrupt your ability to lead.  She has several ladies serving the group in different areas according to their gifts: hospitality, technology, and a prayer leader.One of Ginger's fellow leaders says, "I think our biggest strength is the openness of the group, and that moms feel safe sharing their weaknesses. Love the pampering with tea, chocolate, popcorn, and the pretty dishes. Such a lovely escape from a sink full of dirty dishes. There's love in that room."Mom Heart Groups come in all shapes and sizes.  What do you need to find the courage to start a group?

Mom Heart Ministry Beliefs Statement

We want the words “Mom Heart” to mean some very specific things, but we also want them to not mean some other things. Our “Ministry Beliefs Statement” is not a detailed and comprehensive document for a reason: We want to include mothers from as many church and theological traditions as we possibly can. However, that creates doctrinal gaps that others can fill in with their own theological beliefs.  If you want to be a Mom Heart group leader, we simply ask that you affirm and embrace the things that make us Mom Heart, as expressed in the Beliefs and Values Statements.What Is Our “Ministry Beliefs Statement”? “If you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything.” The early church might not have produced such a pithy and clever maxim, but they certainly believed its proverbial truth, as witnessed and preserved in statements of faith such as the Apostles’ and Nicene creeds. Following the Protestant Reformation in 1517, every subsequent expression of the church needed its own statement of faith to differentiate itself from all the other expressions of the church. Today, a typical statement of faith serves two general purposes: (1) to affirm orthodox biblical beliefs, and (2) to express distinctive biblical beliefs. In the denominational era, it’s less about standing for something so you don’t fall into error, and more about, “You can’t tell the players without a scorecard.” Our “Ministry Beliefs Statement” aims at two goals: (1) to align with historic Christian belief, and (2) to express core beliefs that shape the Mom Heart vision and message.MINISTRY BELIEFS STATEMENT What Mom Heart BelievesMom Heart Ministry is a small groups and teaching initiative of Whole Heart Ministries, a nonprofit (501c3) Christian organization. Whole Heart Ministries adheres to the Statement of Faith of the National Association of Evangelicals (NAE). The “Ministry Beliefs Statement” that follows is a summarized and narrative expression of the core biblical beliefs that define and direct the Mom Heart Ministry initiative. We affirm and embrace the beliefs in this document:Mom Heart Ministry Beliefs StatementWORD: We affirm the entire Bible, both the Old and New Testaments as they have been faithfully transmitted and accurately translated, as God's complete, true, and trustworthy Word—His finished and inspired revelation to all people, our sole authority in matters of spiritual truth concerning God and mankind, and our trustworthy guide in all matters of salvation, life, faith, and godliness.JESUS: We affirm the essential doctrines of God's Word recognized and accepted as the historic and orthodox Christian faith, and the centrality of the person and work of Jesus Christ to that faith—His divine-human nature, virgin birth, sinless life, attesting miracles, atoning death, bodily resurrection, ascension into heaven, present spiritual kingdom rule and reign, and future return in glory.CROSS: We affirm that Christ died on the cross as a vicarious, substitutionary sacrifice to atone for the sin of all mankind, and that the life in His blood removed our guilt and reconciled us to God by satisfying God’s justice and appeasing His wrath—the mystery of the cross demonstrates the grace that “God so loved the world” and the victory that Christ won over the powers of evil for mankind.GRACE: We affirm for all who come to Jesus in faith that “by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God” because “grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ” to set us free from the demands of the Law and of works so that “there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”—faith alone is the way to God’s salvation by grace.MARRIAGE: We affirm the biblical design for marriage as one man and one woman, united spiritually and physically for life, becoming as one for the purposes of fulfilling God’s creation mandate to bear children and to subdue and rule over creation, and for presenting to the world a living picture of the relationship of Christ and His church by serving God together with mutual love and respect.FAMILY: We affirm the biblical design for the family, blessed by God “in the beginning,” for passing faith from one generation to the next, for training and instructing children in the Lord who will honor their parents and fear and follow God, for affirming that every child is a blessing and gift of God to be welcomed and desired, and for picturing the nature and character of the invisible God.IMG_7782CHURCH: We affirm the biblical priority of the church, which is the visible body of Christ in both its local and universal expressions, in defending and extending the faith entrusted to it, and the absolute necessity of the work of God's Holy Spirit, both in the world and in the believer, for enabling individual Christians to live according to that faith and to grow in godly character and obedience.Printable version here.An excerpt from Taking Motherhood to Hearts.